Since I entered the adult industry, I’ve been asked many questions from many different people.  Sometimes they are special fetish requests for an upcoming appointment they’ve booked with me, sometimes I’m asked for my opinions on various things both porn industry related and non, and sometimes they’re just personal interest questions; about my heritage or my favorite color, etc.  I’m always happy to reply to all the questions I get, no matter how ridiculous you think your question might be, as long as you aren’t disrespectful to me.   Every now and then I get asked some pretty unusual questions and some that are really funny, so I thought I’d share a few of the more entertaining questions I’ve received.

First, just a quick note about these (and all) questions I’m asked.  While I may be amused by a question I receive, I am in no way intending to be judgmental or patronizing towards the inquirer.  If one of these is originally your question to me, I mean no offense to you by posting it and I appreciate your indulgence in my finding innocent amusement in things that are simply outside of my ‘usual’ requests.

Okay. Diplomacy aside – on to the good stuff!

10.  Sex in unusual locations.

Okay, I understand that always having sex in a bed can get to be monotonous, and I’m cool with a little diversity in (or out of) the bedroom, but I was thinking of the living room sofa, or the kitchen counter! Some of these requests are just a little outside my level of comfort.

“…also, I was hoping that we could have our date in my car.  I don’t take very long, and I was thinking I could pick you up and drive to an empty parking lot where I would screw you in the car, and then I’d drop you off afterwards.  Bonus if it can take place around midday, I want us to be watched.”

While I am comfortable making adult movies, and having photos and videos documenting such activities posted all over the internet, I’m not that excited to put on a live show for people (including possibly underage people!) who didn’t sign up to watch.  That aside, I’m not comfortable getting into the car of someone I’ve never met before.  That could end a whole lot worse than just being arrested for public indecency!

“Theres a jacuzzi tub on the roof of my condo building. Can we have our date there? No one hardly ever goes up there.”

I’m not about to get arrested for having sex in a public jacuzzi, even if ‘no one hardly ever goes up there.’  Legality aside, it’s also very dangerous to have sex in jacuzzi tubs.  They are breeding grounds for lots of bacteria, and having that forced up into my girlie bits would certainly result in a need for massive amounts of anti-biotics and un-welcome down time.

“I have a fantasy of sexin’ in the bathroom at mcdonalds… I’ll pay ur full rate, even if we dont stay that long.”

Okay – I can understand the sex in public, almost getting caught fantasy, but Mc Donalds? Seriously?!

9.  Unusual clothing requests.

I love playing dress-up, and I love role playing, and if I have the item you’d like me to wear, I’m more than happy to cater to your requests.  Sometimes, however, the requests are pretty far out in left-field, if you know what I mean:

“Can you wear a rubber president mask while I fuck you? You’d show up already wearing the mask, and wouldn’t take it off the entire time you’re here.  I prefer Ronald Regan, though if you can’t find that one, I’d also be okay with Nixon or Carter.”

Would we be going to rob a bank afterwards?!  - LINK -

8.  Request for a 90 minute personal fantasy audio tape.

I was contacted and asked if I would make a personalized audio tape, 90 minutes long about me dominating and objectifying a guy, then describing, while masturbating, how much I enjoy gay porn.  Now, I’m not into either of those things, so I politely declined this request, but boy, did he come up with an incredibly detailed “rough outline!”

“This is a rough outline of what I’m looking for;

First section…a man (me!) posing for “playgirl” photo’s with you as the photographer.

The first part of this will be preparing him for the photo…Oil will be applied also shaving his pubic hair (you will describe this in detail on how you would do this etc.). You will describe how you go from taking photo’s of him soft to hard (how you would turn him on to what you are wearing). Moving on describe what posses you would have him in and what your are looking for even if you want to use either a ball/cock ring. I will leave all that up to you as it will be a nice thing not to have it to orchestrated. Finally describing how you would want to get off (Tell him how you want him to masturbate and to finally ejaculate.) I will give you a wide range in making up this scenario. Although it must be very graphic and a lot of detail. Really be the sensuous dominate one in this scenario tell him “what to do”.

• I want to know what posses you would like to see
• How you would want to present my-male parts
• How you would shave him what it might feel like for me.
• It is important that you tell him (if you choose this route) how to play with myself what you want me to do (example how fast/slow and where you want him to grab etc.).
• Tell us what you like to see “Men” do when there in a position like this and what turns you on.
• Lots of oil…Love oil and even a shower scene might be nice.
• What you would have him wear (cock/ball rings/straps).
• Have you done or seen anything during your work and if so what improvements would you make if you ran say a playgirl magazine to make to appeal more to women.
• Describe what you love about watching a man play with himself.  What is your favorite moment during that act.

This would then lead into this “Competition”

I want  to start with you giving him a slow massage especially around his genitals…In other words you would have to care for them and to make them look there best for the next competition.  Please go into as much detail as you can including what is going through your mind.  I wants to be both surprised and shocked!  Please talk about what you would use (oil/stretch/forming devices etc.) to get him ready for the “Big competition”, Can you please include a detailed audio version of you having both oral and vaginal sex with him.  If you could actually be having sex or masturbating would be really hot…Please just make sure that the other person is not making noise for the recording.

Once the day of the competition can you go into how you would prepare him for competition…Really objectify me (example may be a length and testicle weigh-in etc.)! Please include as well any questions that all female audience might have in a Q & A session.  Make sure that you have a variety of challenges, please again go into as much detail as possible including what is going through your mind at the time. When its time for climax please instruct them using various techniques to empty every ounce of ejaculation and then how you would play with my “parts” after the ejaculation session and how you would deal with the care of his genitals after this.

The next fantasy revolves around the following;  You getting two gay men to perform for you.

In this one I not only want you watching/describing a “guy/guy” porn that you are watching (hear again please be descriptive and graphic). Then switching from that to talking about if you had two+ men in front of you (describe what there physical appearance would be) The only stipulation she want some of the guys to be “uncut” and latter describe how you would use his foreskin with the other guy. Please start them off dress and start giving commands from that point plus describing what you are seeing and what is “turning you on”. The final scene will be you actually getting a strap on and “doing” the men that have been in front off you. For the final scene I want a very descriptive/graphic climax.

• Describe if you have ever had an experience with two gay men
• What happened if you have.
• The different acts that you would like to see performed for you
• The two men doing things with there penises (rubbing snoodling etc.) that would be a turn on…What could they do with there “parts”
• What would you be looking for in the two men involved (would you want more then two men and if so how would you incorporate it).
• How would you want the  men to prepare for this (How would they groom/wash/shave).
• As I have said I love foreskin how would you use this in the fantasy.
• How would you have them ejaculate and then become hard again.
• I would love to hear what your looking at in the “gay magazine” that your looking at.  Please go into detail of what you are looking at.
• What is your favorite part of seeing Men playing with Men?
• Describe just going to an Adult Video Star and looking at MM section and box covers and what is turning you on about them.”

7.  Role play with a twist.

“do you have a sexy cop outfit?  If not can you get one for our session?  Make sure it has a baton, I’d like for you to arrest me and fuck me up the ass with your baton.”

Sexy police girl role-play, yes.   Anal fucking, no.

6. Just-friends zoo/wrestling date.

If you haven’t already, READ THIS.

5.  Spite/Revenge sex.

“Will u cum meet me at my girlfriends house?  The bitch is cheating on me & I want 2 get back at her 4 it. She will b at work so u wont c her at all.”

Wow.  Now that’s ‘classy’.

Just to be clear, I only visit upscale hotel suites and private residences where privacy is absolutely assured, and there is no chance of anyone interrupting our time (wife, girlfriend, gardener, maid, etc).  That being said, if I were to be there with you when your girlfriend just happened to come home from work early to find us – that’d be asking for all sorts of trouble that I’m not about to get in the middle of.

4.  Above and beyond my call of duty…

“I’m a married man with 2 kids, and a job that keeps me busy all the time.  What free time I do get is spent with my wife, but I really want to see you.  It’s always been my fantasy to fuck a real pornstar, but my wife would never understand.  I was wondering if you could do something a little extra for me that would make this possible, and I’d of course compensate you for it.  Next Friday evening, my wife and I are going to a friend’s wedding.  Could I hire you to babysit my kids while we are out (dressed normally, so it wont be suspicious), and when we return, I’ll drop my wife off and drive you home so that I have an excuse to be away from my wife & my kids long enough to spend some sexy time with you.  We’ll say you live far away from us to explain the time I’d be away, and please pretend for my wife’s sake that we’re paying you $100 for the night of babysitting, and I will pay your full rate to you for the time you’d be babysitting, as well as the time you’d spend with me alone.  Please get back to me as soon as possible, because I told my wife I’d confirm a babysitter by Wednesday.”

I’m not one to interfere with your personal relationships, and I will not ask you about, nor judge you on your marital status or personal life…but asking me to babysit your kids?  I’d feel a little anxious charging you my full rate for the hours I’d be babysitting, but I would have to, as that is time spent where I could be doing something else.  Either way, that’s a little bit too weird for me…not to mention I don’t like kids and would be a terrible babysitter!

I did appreciate how polite and respectful he was in his email to me.  I told him it would be much cheaper to find another babysitter & I’d be happy to see him after he drops her off!

3. More Bang for your buck.

“My buddy is getting married and the boys and I are throwing him a bachelor party and wanted to hire you to entertain the groom.  It would be taking place at the [name removed] hotel on [date removed].  I was wondering if you were available for 2 hours that evening from 10 – midnight?  Also, once my buddy is done (since I know he’ll be nervous and wont take very long) a couple of the guys in the wedding party will take turns with you until your time is up.  Oh, and do you give discounts if we’re good looking?  I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun with us & did I mention it’ll be an open bar?  If you like to party in other ways just let me know and I can make arrangements.”

Just to set the record straight, because I am often asked if I would join someone to ‘party’ – and when asked what they mean by party, they imply drug use.  I had one guy say that if I was into ‘white’ (cocaine) then money was no object and he’d pay whatever I asked for to come party with him.  Just so everyone knows, I have NEVER done cocaine, MDMA, ecstasy, meth, crack, heroin or any of a long list of drugs.  I used to smoke weed at parties in highschool, but I haven’t even done that in 10 years – even the smell of it makes me paranoid, and that’s not a fun thing for me.  I don’t like being out of control of my body, *especially* if I’m going to be spending intimate time with someone I just met.  I’m comfortable sharing a glass of wine or champagne socially, but if you’re looking for someone to get drunk with, I’m definitely not your girl.

Now, that aside, I’m not interested in being passed around like an h’ors d’oeuvre tray.  I’m just not into ‘pulling a train’ like that. (no offence meant to the girls who are into that – cool, it’s just not for me)

As far as the comment about discounts for being good looking – would you ask your hairdresser to give you a discount because you have nice hair? Would you ask your maid to give you a discount because she’d be cleaning a pretty marble floor instead of linoleum? Would you ask for a lower rate from your plumber who came to fix a leaky faucet because your bathroom was freshly cleaned?  You get the point

2.  Relief catcher…

“Madam

I was wondering whether you may need a personal slave – to aid you in day to day work or anything else. If you do, I am ready to fill that role and will do anything you ask me to, any day of the week.  I am deeply interested in being your personal slave and wonder if you can agree to taking me in this role.

Eagerly awaiting your reply…”

Since I am not into this sort of thing, it would be A LOT of work for me to affect the role of mistress and it would be purely for his indulgence.  For this, I replied as such:

Slaves always tend to end up being VERY high-maintenance –

He replies by telling me that he is

“very much low-maintenance; can I be your slave performing tasks you may want me to do, noting in return expected.”

I then reply with “Sorry, I have no need for a personal slave, but could perform as your mistress for enough money.”

He then politely replies that if I ever change my mind he is available anytime to serve me and will do anything I ask him to.  That’s not so unusual, right?  In fact, I am often asked if I need personal slaves to do housecleaning, errand-running, or other tasks that I might need done, and while they are mostly respectful, I am just not looking for something like that in my life.  This guy, however, really wouldn’t take no for an answer.   A week later he writes to me with this:

Madam

I really hope you have changed your mind and will accept me as your personal slave. Will do anything you ask me to…..I really will, in return for nothing.

Regards

Now, at the time another fellow told me he had bought me a gift, a 7 foot tall stuffed giraffe that I have wanted for some time now, [as it turned out in the end, he was lying, and just leading me on, which I must say was incredibly rude!!!] and he had it delivered to his place which was a couple of hours drive from me, but neither he nor I could drive to meet the other.  I figured I might as well ask this ’slave’ to go get it for me, since he wanted to do something for me so badly.

Well, as it turns out, this slave wont do that (despite his saying he’d do *anything*) but he continues to press, wanted to be my slave and to do anything else I want him to do.  He’s offering to pick up my dry cleaning, or do my shopping, and he keeps begging to do anything I need, to the point of it actually being a nuisance. In my final attempt to send him the message that I am not looking for a personal slave I write this, thinking it was so ridiculous that he’d get the message and stop bugging me.

And it seemed to work.  This all took place at the end of April and I didn’t hear back from him…. until now.

Madam

Sorry for the delay in contacting you again;its just that I took some time to think about it. On your below said request,I am so eager to be your personal slave that I am ready even to consider this.Would the clients asking for anal be men or ladies, just out of curiosity?

Looking forward to your reply

Well, ’slave,’ if you’re reading this, I hope you got your answer!   …Then again, if you want to get me that giraffe and have it delivered directly to me, that would be a nice gesture!

1.  Baa-a-a-ad Idea!

Sometimes people fantasize about things that are just completely wrong and inappropriate in every way, should they be acted upon in reality.  Staging a fantasy *as a fantasy* and between consenting, mature [read:18 years of age or older] adults is another thing. (eg. a common role play scenario is the school-girl and teacher scenario)  but this one really threw me for a loop! I actually thought the guy was just playing around, trying to make a joke or something…

“Violet,

I have an unusual fetish that I was hoping you would partake in with me.  I’d like you to dress in a sheep costume, wear a bell around your neck and let me fuck you doggy style while you make lowing and baaing noises like a real sheep would. “

I can understand schoolgirl-teacher, I can understand cop-prisoner, I can even understand daddy-little girl scenarios as they are all about power exchange and light submission but a sheep?

xox Violet

I’ve spoken before about my involvement with the Worthy Playboy Institute, specifically the annual workshop they run in Las Vegas every January during the porn convention.  What I’d like to share with you now is a short article written by Johnny Soporno, the creator of the WPI, regarding sex professionals and paying for sex, as well as a different view of these than is perpetuated by ‘traditional society.’

So give it a read through, and leave a comment – I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas on this particular subject, if you’re comfortable sharing.

xox Violet

*****

“I don’t pay prostitutes to sleep with me, I pay them to leave when I’m done!” – Cary Grant

Throughout most of the ‘Free World’ (excluding the US, of course ) prostitution is legal. In Canada, virtually everywhere in Europe, and Australia, prostitution is common and accepted.

A prostitute is a professional – like a doctor, or a massage-therapist, or a hairstylist, or lawyer… A professional is a person who charges for their services, offering essentially the same service to any number of clients, (both ‘one-offs’ and ‘regulars’), in which their client believes the costs are appropriate for the services rendered. Furthermore, the more experienced the Professional, the more competent and skilful they usually become.

I wouldn’t want to get my hair cut by someone who hadn’t cut countless heads of hair before me; I’d never let a dentist drill a tooth if I weren’t certain he’s done it countlessly before!

A prostitute does a specific kind of work, usually quite well, and provides satisfaction – with the expectation (as is true with all professionals) that once their work is done, the client will leave satisfied, and will return if their need requires it, and ideally they will advise others of the professionalism and quality provided.

It’s critical to remember that virtually all women are raised to charge for their sexual services – when their mothers tell them “If you give away the milk, no one will buy the cow!” she’s telling her daughters “Don’t you forget, I raised you to be a whore, not a slut!”
Likewise, when their fathers tell them “I don’t want you spending time with that Kevin boy – he just wants to get into your pants! Why don’t you go connect with Thomas, over there… He has his own business, and he’ll be a good provider and father for your children, and he’ll take care of you! (Because don’t ever forget, we raised you to be a whore!)”

Women are raised never to undercut The Sexual Cartel – an unspoken understanding amongst all women to ensure that men will support them and their offspring by convincing men that sex can only be available at a cost – and that the dearer the cost, the more valuable the sex.

This is to convince men that their children are their own, genetically.

“Son, I know you’re my child, (despite the fact that we don’t look anything alike) because your mother was a “good girl” – She didn’t sleep with me until our fourth date! And hell, she doesn’t even like sex, we practically never had it once we got married!”

Women who have sex because they want to, with whomever they choose, without the promise of a ‘commitment’, (or any other direct or promised compensation) are condemn socially and branded as “sluts” – the most derogatory word any woman can be called, particularly by another woman… When a man calls a woman a slut, he is saying “She’s having more sex than _I_ want her to!”, but when a woman calls another woman a slut, it means “She’s a traitor to her gender! She’s giving away what I must sell, and lowering my value! – She’s a scab! She’s undercutting The Cartel!”

SO – if you like sex-for-the-sake-of-sex more than you like money, go ahead and hire someone on an ‘on demand’ basis… Instead of hiring one full time, when you only actually need the service occasionally!

I’ve often heard “If it floats, flies, or fucks, rent it, don’t own it!”

~Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy & Sexual Revolutionary

First off, I get lots of email on a daily basis both personal and professional.  Now don’t get me wrong, I love to hear from my fans, and I do my best to reply to all of them.  That being said, I am always amused when someone writes to me to ask me out on a non-professional date and then gets terribly offended and extremely rude when my answer is no.  Being rejected is never fun, no matter what the circumstances, so I am gracious and sweet in my replies, while still being direct (I’m a big fan of honesty and open communication), so that nothing can be misinterpreted.  What’s so entertaining to me are the guys who feel the need to write back with rudeness and hostility, as though I *owe* it to them to accept their offer!

5 or 6 years ago, this might have bruised my ego terribly, and I would have taken it very personally.  Nowadays, because I’m so comfortable with myself, where I am in my life, and what I do, these nasty-grams don’t affect me anymore.  In fact, they are completely ineffective in both their passive-aggressive attempts to get me to reconsider their initial offer, or using guilt-trips and other diatribe to make me feel bad.   Sometimes I’ll even get unsolicited advice about my life and my career choice!

Recently I received an email from a guy who wanted to see me to fulfill an oil wrestling fetish of his, and as a post script to his message he asked if I’d like to go to the zoo with him.  I was unsure if he was asking for my services as an escort or something else, so I wrote back, and after a couple of email exchanges, and my making it clear I was unavailable for a social outing, things turned ugly.  I’m not normally one to ‘fuel the fire’, so to speak, but writing back was “WAY MORE BETTER” than just ignoring him.  He kept getting angrier and his attempts to insult me (or convince me to go out with him?!) were beyond failing, and it was just too entertaining to keep to myself so here are the exchanges.   These are in complete copy & paste form, I did no editing with the exception of removing his email address.   Enjoy!

From: [J.S.]
Subject:  Ask Violet
To: Violet Marcell
Date: July 5, 2010 11:44 PM

Hi Violet,

I live in Toronto and I was wondering if you would consider mud/oil wrestling for fun Let me know if you’re into to that kind of messy fun!

p.s. I read one of your previous blogs about your date to the science centre. I was wondering if you wanted to go to the zoo with me. I would be honoured if you would accompany me.

Ciao for now!

J.S.

From: Violet Marcell
Subject:  Ask Violet
To: [J.S.]
Date: July 5, 2010 11:53 PM

Hey JS,

I’m not sure if you’re asking me out on a friendly date, or a professional one? I am not available for social outings, except as ‘professional dates’

Let me know!

xo

Violet

From: [J.S.]
Subject:  Ask Violet
To: Violet Marcell
Date: July 6, 2010 07:06 PM

Hey Violet,

I hope you’re doing good and enjoying this sweltering weather – hot hot hot! Thank God for air conditionning, that’s all I have to say

I’m not going to lie because I’m as honest as person as there is…I wanted to ask you out to the zoo as a social outing, because I read your blog and you said how you didn’t get a chance to go to the zoo and I thought it would be cool for us to go together as friends, since I haven’t been at the zoo in years (unless you count being with all my family for dinner because that turns into a “zoo” itself lol). But seriously, no one I know would go to the zoo because they are not really animal lovers and although some animals and I don’t mix well (a tad scary for me at times lol), I am willing to go with you as long as you protect me from them

Now I read your email, and I understand what you say about only ‘professional dates’….so my solution is let’s go to the zoo as a ’social outing’ and pretend it’s a ‘professional date’

Speaking of ‘professional date’, you never mentioned anything about the mud/oil wrestling part of my email.
This is what I’m thinking if it’s cool with you (and only if it’s cool with you)….

9am – quickie breakfast

10am – mud/oil wrestling – you’re going down! lol

12pm – clean up

1pm – zoo – explore the wildlife, have lunch, frolic around

3pm – return Violet home (after a hug and a kiss on the cheek)

Is that an awesome day or what!!!

J.S.

From: Violet Marcell
Subject:  Ask Violet
To: [J.S.]
Date: July 6, 2010 07:43 PM

You’re adorable

However, the key element of what makes a “Professional date” is the hourly fee which I would need to be paid, and that is pretty critical for me, I’m afraid.

Thanks for the smile!

xo

Violet

From: [J.S.]
Subject:  Ask Violet
To: Violet Marcell
Date: July 6, 2010 08:02 PM

Thanks for the…sad face

Sorry to have wasted your time. When I read your blog I thought it would be cool to go to the zoo with you as friends, since you wanted to go before, but didn’t. It’s a shame that you also need to be paid for a friendly, nice, innocent outing. I don’t have $500 to spend for this purpose right now (I need the money for other important things…you know, for food….to live).

I thought we could have a day of fun (no sex, or fooling around in THAT way). Apparently, I’m just a stupid pathetic
person who still believes that honesty and geniune kindness is more important than the “almighty dollar”. I just hope
you realize that money and “business” doesn’t make someone’s life great (because money just buys material things that
you get bored of eventually). It’s the special moments and the time you share with others who see you for something
other than some “service” that makes life moments sweet. I can’t believe I thought I might have the opportunity to meet
you and spend a day with you – I feel like a douche.

From: Violet Marcell
Subject:  Ask Violet
To: [J.S.]
Date: July 6, 2010 11:47 PM

>> Thanks for the…sad face

>> Sorry to have wasted your time.

You didn’t waste much of it

>> When I read your blog I thought it would be cool to go to the zoo with you as friends, since you wanted to go before, but didn’t.

Well, going to the zoo with friends IS something I had wanted to do, and something I fully intend to do – with some of my friends!

>>  It’s a shame that you also need to be paid for a friendly, nice, innocent outing.

>>> I live in Toronto and I was wondering if you would consider mud/oil wrestling for fun

>>>> 10am – noon mud/oil wrestling – you’re going down! lol

It’s a shame that you don’t have enough money to pay women to indulge your mudwrestling fetish, and that you mistakenly believed you could ’slip that in’ to an otherwise innocent invitation to go to the zoo!

>> I don’t have $500 to spend for this purpose right now (I need the money for other important things…you know, for food….to live).  I thought we could have a day of fun (no sex, or fooling around in THAT way).

Riiiiiiight.

>> Apparently, I’m just a stupid pathetic person…

Apparently.

>>…I feel like a douche.

If you feel awful for attempting to use passive-aggressive ‘guilt-trips’ on a women who had zero obligation even to reply to your incredibly selfish and inappropriate request for two hours of physically intimate contact (oil wrestling) but regardless, dismissed you sweetly, then you aren’t a douche.

If you don’t feel awful, then you are a TOTAL douche.

Goodbye and good luck!

Violet

From: [J.S.]
Subject:  Ask Violet
To: Violet Marcell
Date: July 7, 2010 08:43 PM

>> Thanks for the…sad face
>> Sorry to have wasted your time.

>You didn’t waste much of it

sorry for giving a crap

>> When I read your blog I thought it would be cool to go to the zoo with you as friends, since you wanted to go before, but didn’t.

>Well, going to the zoo with friends IS something I had wanted to do, and something I fully intend to do – with some of my friends!

I wanted to go to the zoo with you as a friend. I only included the wrestling part because I thought it would have to be “professional outing” to get a chance to go with you. It was for a innocent day of fun. It’s a shame you changed it into your own morph way of thinking to make it more than it really was going to be. I though asking you to the zoo was a nice thing to do…that’s it…geez.

>> It’s a shame that you also need to be paid for a friendly, nice, innocent outing.

>>> I live in Toronto and I was wondering if you would consider mud/oil wrestling for fun

>>> 10am – noon mud/oil wrestling – you’re going down! lol

>It’s a shame that you don’t have enough money to pay women to indulge your mudwrestling fetish, and that you mistakenly believed you could ’slip that in’ to an otherwise innocent invitation to go to the zoo!

I rather go to the zoo with you then wrestle or have sex with you. That’s just the way I am and I’m sorry you feel that I had more intentions. I really just wanted to go to the zoo with you….I don’t care if you believe me or not. But as God as my witness that was my real intent. I thought it would be nice to go with you….even with your friends if you wanted…oh well.

>> I don’t have $500 to spend for this purpose right now (I need the money for other important things…you know, for food….to live). I thought we could have a day of fun (no sex, or fooling around in THAT way).

>Riiiiiiight.

$500 is a lot for me. I had no intention of sex or going back to your place or my place or anything like that. The wrestling would be for fun only. I’m serious about that – no sex….I don’t even know you that well to do that the first time we meet. Unlike some guys who would jump you at the chance.

>> Apparently, I’m just a stupid pathetic person…

>Apparently.

I don’t think I’m pathetic. After I read your reply…I don’t think I’m the pathetic one anymore.

>>…I feel like a douche.

>If you feel awful for attempting to use passive-aggressive ‘guilt-trips’ on a women who had zero obligation even to reply to your incredibly selfish and inappropriate request for two hours of physically intimate contact (oil wrestling) but regardless, dismissed you sweetly, then you aren’t a douche.

“selfish and inappropriate requests”…me? No offense, but you’re the porn actress who gets paid to have sex with strangers and that’s not “selfish” and “inappropriate”…riiiight.

>If you don’t feel awful, then you are a TOTAL douche.

>Goodbye and good luck!

I don’t feel like a douche….you should feel like one. You need to meet more people like me, not those adult industry slime balls. I think you’ve been in this business way to long because you can’t tell the good guys from the losers. My advice which you probably won’t (but should) take: forget this industry. It’s dangerous, there are a lot of creeps, and at the end you will end up alone. You seem like a smart person and you should put your brain toward something more positive and more respectful. No one respects you in this industry…stop fooling yourself.

Do something to help others and make a normal living doing something respectful…don’t take the easy route for money. It may seem good now, but it will lead you no where…think 10 years from now…YOU ARE WAY MORE BETTER THAN THIS!

I’m either gonna get no response OR some more arguing, smart ass remarks back from you…..no matter what you say (or don’t say), trust me….this line of work is not for smart, beautiful, sweet people like yourself. I’m sorry for offending you and I wish you the best of luck always.

J.S.

From: Violet Marcell
Subject:  Ask Violet
To: [J.S.]
Date: July 7, 2010 10:04 PM

>> sorry for giving a crap

You never gave a crap.  This is clear by your insulting and critical ad hominem attacks…

>> I wanted to go to the zoo with you as a friend.

I’m puzzled here, what led you to believe that we were friends?

Is it because you read my blog? Or because you find me hot and would like to roll around in a kiddie-pool with me, maybe? It certainly isn’t because of our long-standing and ongoing relationship, involving shared intimacies and experiences, BECAUSE I DON’T KNOW YOU AT ALL! I don’t know anything about you;  not even your name!  That’s not much of a basis for a friendship.

>> I only included the wrestling part because I thought it would have to be “professional outing” to get a chance to go with you. It was for a innocent day of fun. It’s a shame you changed it into your own morph way of thinking to make it more than it really was going to be. I though asking you to the zoo was a nice thing to do…that’s it…geez.

Funny, that…

You might try inviting Jesse Jane, or Kayden Kross, or Brittany Spears (or some other girls who’ve never met you) to go out with you, just as friends, and see how well THAT goes over. Personally,   I doubt you’ll even get a reply.

>It’s a shame that you don’t have enough money to pay women to indulge your mudwrestling fetish, and that you mistakenly
believed you could ’slip that in’ to an otherwise innocent invitation to go to the zoo!

>>$500 is a lot for me. I had no intention of sex or going back to your place or my place or anything like that. The wrestling would be for fun only. I’m serious about that – no sex….I don’t even know you that well to do that the first time we meet. Unlike some guys who would jump you at the chance.

I see… and somehow two-hour long sessions of mud-wrestling is supposed to be LESS expensive than sex?  It’s certainly a hell of a lot more work, more exhausting, messier, and less satisfying!

>> Apparently, I’m just a stupid pathetic person…

>Apparently.

>>I don’t think I’m pathetic. After I read your reply…I don’t think I’m the pathetic one anymore.

>>>…I feel like a douche.

>If you feel awful for attempting to use passive-aggressive ‘guilt-trips’ on a women who had zero obligation even to reply to your incredibly selfish and inappropriate request for two hours of physically intimate contact (oil wrestling) but regardless, dismissed you sweetly, then you aren’t a douche.

>>No offense, but you’re the porn actress who gets paid to have sex with strangers and that’s not “selfish” and “inappropriate”…riiiight.

WOW, you are a piece of work!

I GET PAID TO SPEND TIME WITH STRANGERS, making them feel good, sometimes by having sex with them, sometimes having dinner & drinks with them, sometimes dancing with them, and occasionally even wrestling with them… BECAUSE THAT’S MY JOB. There’s nothing remotely inappropriate about it, nor illegal, nor even QUESTIONABLE, and I’m VERY PUBLIC about it, because I’m very proud of what I do.

Let’s presume my career was “hair stylist”, and even though I had never met you, and didn’t know ANYTHING about you, you invited me to go out with you & spend two hours trimming your back hair, and then go see a movie, when I would otherwise be earning money at my salon.

Would it be selfish and inappropriate for you to ask me to indulge you THEN?

(The answer is, ABSOLUTELY, just as selfish and inappropriate!)

>>I don’t feel like a douche….you should feel like one.

Yes, good call!  Dealing with you has left me feeling icky, so I think I’ll douche for good measure.

>>You need to meet more people like me… you can’t tell the good guys from the losers.

Are there more people like you?  Are there really more guys out there with such a totally out-of-whack sense of entitlement? More guys who honestly believe that their writing a letter to someone inviting them out MEANS that they’re friends, and who feel they have the right to feel hard-done-by when someone whom they don’t know at all, and who owes them nothing, isn’t interested in wrestling with them for two hours?

I think everyone else reading this can identify the loser here (Hint: it’s you.)

>>My advice which you probably won’t take: forget this industry. It’s dangerous, there are a lot of creeps, and at the end you will end up alone.

You’re definitely right there:  I won’t take that advice.

>>You seem like a smart person and you should put your brain toward something more positive and more respectful. No one respects you in this industry…stop fooling yourself.  Do something to help others and make a normal living doing something respectful…don’t take the easy route for money. It may seem good now, but it will lead you no where…think 10 years from now…YOU ARE WAY MORE BETTER THAN THIS!

“Better” is a comparative adjective, and can’t be modified in that way.

>>I’m sorry for offending you and I wish you the best of luck always.

No fear, I’m not offended, I’m merely amused.  Thank you for contributing to my Blog!

Violet

*****

A friend of mine posted this on his online profile and it seems pretty appropriate here: Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.

I haven’t heard back from him since that last message, so hopefully he’s tucked his tail between his legs and has retreated to lick his wounds.  It’s sad that his way of handling rejection was with such anger and hostility.  In only a couple of days and a handful of emails he has gone from a guy who’s interested in a girl, to a guy who is calling that same girl names & trying to belittle her.  At least it’s given me plenty of free entertainment!

xox Violet

After enduring the G20 events here in Toronto, this past weekend was the annual Toronto pride parade & street fair.  It was a great way to get out and enjoy an environment of friendliness and acceptance.  Quite the contrast from G20!

Pride for me, is not about my need to tell the world my sexual preferences, rather, it’s a time to be in a huge crowd that is truly free of pretense and prejudice.  It doesn’t matter what your gender, age, race, or sexual preference, pride is about being completely comfortable just being YOU.  Society has raised us to be self-conscious, and to feel abnormal if you don’t fit in with everyone else.  That’s pretty messed up, don’t you think?  It’s not always easy to rid yourself of that mind-frame, but when you do… oh boy! Life just keeps getting better and better, no matter what comes my way.

My pride makeup – I did it myself =)

Pride week, leading up to the parade on Sunday consists of different events that are scheduled, along with closing down a large portion of Church street on Friday night – Sunday night to transform it into the street fair.  Vendors come out and you can get everything from hamburgers to giant inflatable penises there.  The streets get flooded as people party late into the night as bar service hours are extended to 4am.  On Saturday afternoon is the ‘dyke march’ which is not a parade, but a political demonstration of critical mass.

The First Dyke March

On April 24, 1993, a group of San Francisco lesbians joined the Lesbian Avengers, Queer Nation, and the National ACT UP Women’s Committee in calling for a Dyke March the night before an NGLTF-sponsored National March on Washington for lesbian and gay rights. More than 20,000 lesbians marched! Soon women formed Dyke Marches in towns and cities across the country, in New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, and Montreal. 10,000 dykes marched in the first San Francisco Dyke March in 1993. Eighteen years later, 50,000 people attended the San Francisco Dyke March rally and march, the world’s largest dyke march! Now the Dyke March has become an annual event in many cities, usually the night before the local LGTBQ Pride march.

You can read more about it here.

On Sunday, the Pride parade happens, which is a huge event.  At least a million people come out to enjoy the parade & the street fair, it’s quite a sight to see.  A portion of Yonge st., one of the major thoroughfares in Toronto, is closed down for the parade, and scads and scads of people line the sidewalks to watch.  In addition to the parade and the street fair, there are a few beer gardens, as well as an outdoor stage that has different artists performing over the weekend.  It’s a ton of fun, and the best thing of all – everyone is friendly and happy and accepting.  It’s a great vibe.

So I picked out a few skimpy outfits to wear.  Pride is also a time when you can get away with things that normally you couldn’t.  Walking around naked, for example.  I don’t think they like it, but I’ve yet to see the police react to a man who’s walking around the pride street fair buck-ass naked.  Here in Ontario, it’s legal for women to be topless, and many do at pride.  (unfortunately a lot of the women who *do* go topless don’t have the sort of breasts I enjoy – but if they’re comfortable with their bodies as they are, kudos to them!)

I had so much fun walking around with friends, meeting new friends and fooling around with pretty girls!  (Have I mentioned how much I like girls, too?!) During the daytime I wore something a little less risqué, but at night time….

I didn’t stay out for long that particular night, because those boots were definitely not made for walking! I love ‘em though, because they are soft velvet, I clip my garters to the boots themselves.  The skirt is really more of a belt than a skirt and I certainly got lots of attention when I was wearing this!  There were also some other really fun and creative outfits.  It was fun just to people-watch.  Of course I also like to people-touch!

Anyway, after all the festivities, I brought home my date for the night, and we finished Pride weekend off with a ‘bang’!  I had a fantastic weekend,though it’s taken me a couple of days to recover from the lack of sleep!

Happy Pride!

xoxo Violet

I love my country – so I will wear black on Canada Day.

This is as a reminder of the attacks upon both The Charter of Rights and Freedoms, and on our fellow citizens, carried out by the very same *POLICE FORCES WE PAY* to ensure our rights & properties.  Our ‘Rights’ exist ONLY as long as someone defends them. We have NO ALTERNATIVE but to pay governmentally-appointed Police to protect our rights, bodies, and property from encroachment and violation.  These very-same police, on authority from POLITICIANS, heinously violated thousands of peaceful and rightful citizens this last weekend.

HOLD THEM ACCOUNTABLE!

Please let the politicians, government, and your fellow Canadians know your heartbreak.

Wear some black this Canada Day.

Pass it on!

xox Violet

I’ve been in Toronto for quite a long stretch.  Normally I spend about half of my year in Los Angeles, and the rest of the year split between my home in Toronto, and traveling the world.  With much thought, it has made sense for me to stay in Toronto for the duration I have, though recently I’ve found myself missing LA LA Land… now more than ever!  I never really thought I would miss Los Angeles.  Sure, I miss my friends in Cali, and the fun industry parties but LA in general? Not so much.

Well, a few things have been happening in Toronto recently that remind me of Los Angeles.  Things that, on my list of things I’d expect to see & experience here, were basically unlikely to happen.  A major earthquake, and unbelievable protests turned into violent riots after provocation from police.  More on that, but first lets talk about the earthquake.

The first major earthquake that I experienced was in Los Angeles, two years ago during a shoot I was doing for Brazzers.  In fact, looking back at the records, I believe it was the 5.5 quake that happened on July 29, 2008.  The location was this gorgeous house dubbed  ’The Captain and Tennille House.’  It’s a lovely house set on the top of a small mountain that takes a good 5 minutes drive to get to the top of.  In addition the house itself is on stilts.  There’s a gorgeous view of the valley from all angles, and it was a phenomenally gorgeous day.  Everyone had already finished with hair & makeup, and we were just beginning to take the stills when the house began to moan and creak.  To me, having grown up in southern Ontario, Canada, where we get an unusually large number of thunderstorms, it just felt like the winds were picking up at the beginning of a storm.   The photographer (who, forgive me, I forget his name) knew immediately and started freaking out, thinking the house was going to come down and he didn’t know where to jump to get out of the way!  This confused the fuck out of me, because I was still under the assumption that it was winds.  Top of a mountain: not unreasonable, right?  Anyway, just about as quickly as it started, it was over.  I’d experienced my first major earthquake and didn’t even know it!

Well, this past week, on June 23, a fairly major earthquake hit Toronto, the epicenter of the quake being right on the Ontario-Quebec border, and officially measuring 5.0 on the Richter scale (I noticed today this had changed, as the initial reports measured it at 5.5).  It happened at around 1:30pm, and since I had just had an especially late night, I was still asleep when it began.  Framed photos on the shelf in my bedroom crashed to the floor and the noise of it woke me up.  I actually thought that one of my roommates had just opened a door causing the air pressure in the condo to change, causing the photos to fall (not unheard of), but I was alone in my bedroom and the door was shut and so were the windows.  I sat up in bed and felt the bed shaking back and forth, and thought I was just imagining things from being still mostly asleep, but I stood up and the floor was shaking too!

Confused more than anything, I went out into the living room to find one my roommates to see what was going on, and at that point the shaking stopped.  One of them was awake and though unconcerned, neither of us really knew what had happened.  (It’s not unusual for random construction throughout the building to cause vibrations to our suite.)  We realized what it was when friends began texting us to see if we felt the earthquake too.  Twitter was a buzz with tons of people talking about the earthquake nearly instantly after it happened, and not long after that the ‘official’ report went up on the USGS (U.S. Geological Survey) website.  A 5.5 quake had hit right along the border between Ontario and Quebec, and vibrations were being felt across Quebec, Ontario and even some of the north-east United States.   As far as I know, the extent of the damage from the quake is summarized below…

Now moving along, I just want to say that I do my best to stay out of politics.  It’s not because I don’t understand, or because I don’t care, but rather because the more I learn, the more angry I get – and I’m not usually one to get angry.  There’s just something so infuriating about the obvious stupidity that most politicians display in their decidedly ’good’ decisions and actions.  Then there’s the futility of knowing that no matter who you vote for the government always gets in!

Anyway, this past weekend Toronto was host to the G20 Summit, and along with the delegates, hundreds of police officers were brought in to maintain the peace and keep the protesters under control.  The budget for this enhanced security was more than a billion.  Yes, I said billion!  Along with the extra cops the police acquired 4 LRAD weapons, though their official statement called them ‘communication devices’.  LRAD stands for Long Range Acoustic Device, and it’s designed as a crowd control device.  Its output up to 155 db, focused at a distance, is sufficient to produce permanent ear damage and temporarily disrupt vision.  Scary stuff.

Over the course of the weekend far too many of our Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms were taken away from us.  Police were using retractable batons, tear gas, pepper spray and even rubber bullets on the crowds.  I saw footage of a guy getting shot with a rubber bullet at point-blank range: how can that be necessary? People were being detained forcibly without being informed promptly (or at all!) of the reasons therefor; some were subject to unlawful strip searches; they were denied the ability to retain council… the list goes on.  It’s sickening.  Now before you start thinking that the protesters must have been doing something wrong for this to happen… watch this:

Pretty sickening, isn’t it?  Makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end every time I see it.  What’s worse, is that the police seemed to be following the ‘Miami Model’ down to the last detail.  The Miami Model, summed up very briefly, is a list of things that police do to provoke protesters so that they can retaliate with greater force.  Watch this:

There were 4 or 5 police cars set on fire, yet strangely they seemed to be abandoned, and the fire department wasn’t called in either.  They appeared to be set ablaze and left to burn so the media could get a good long look at them, and so that they could be justification for the police to attack the protesters and take away more rights and freedoms.  There are many articles showing these riot instigators dressed all in black, yet wearing police issued combat boots, and shiny police belts… It’s pretty undeniable and very disturbing.

It all makes me very angry.  I’m embarrassed that when people think of Toronto and Canada this is going to be one of the things they remember.   When an elderly man is pushed to the ground by police who wont let him return to his own home, when cameras are taken by the police thereby removing freedom of press, when a group of people singing the national anthem sit down in peaceful protest are met by charging riot cops beating them with metal batons and shooting them with rubber bullets…

…well, it just makes me so angry I could cry.

Oh, Canada.  What have you done? =(

~ Violet

The following photos are courtesy of Johnny Soporno

elderly man about to be roughed up by these cops

the cop is saying 'stop taking pictures'

So after that disappointing date at the Ontario Science Centre, (it wasn’t my date’s fault, he was awesome, but the Science Centre was lousy!) I was ready for a do-over, and this time there was no way it could possibly be disappointing… we went to the zoo!  Even if it was pouring rain, the zoo is a ton of fun, if you’re an animal lover, like me =)  The Toronto zoo is huge, and definitely not something you can see in just a day.  They have the zoo separated into different global areas, and yesterday we spent the whole time in the Indo-Malayian and African pavilions.

Orangutan

We started our day with the macaques and then the orangutans.  The orangutans were very cute and entertaining.  They were swinging from the jungle-gym in their enclosure, hanging by a single foot at times, and playing hide n’ seek with these big pieces of cloth they had.  There were a number of adults and ‘children’ though none of them were younger than 5 years old.  They’d cover themselves in the cloth then peek out to see if they were spotted, and then go back to hiding again.  It was so cute to watch them climb and play, I could have easily spent the whole day watching them, if I wasn’t so excited to be seeing the giraffes today!

Sumatran Tiger

Next we walked past the Sumatran tiger enclosure.  This one tiger was sitting very close to us, so I decided to employ a cat-communication technique that I often use on my cats… the slow blink.  When a cat is relaxed and slowly closes it’s eyes, keeps them closed for a moment then slowly re-opens them, it’s a sign of trust and acceptance.  It signifies that they are comfortable ‘taking their eyes off you’ so to speak.  Try it sometime.  If the cat is comfortable and feeling non-threatened, it will reciprocate with a slow blink or a wink.  Anyway, so I caught the tiger’s gaze, slowly shut my eyes, and after a moment, slowly re-opened them.  The tiger winked back! It was a really cool experience =)

Hippopotamus

Next we come across the hippos.  While hippos are primarily vegetarian, and prefer to graze, they are in-fact omnivorous, and wont turn away a free meal if the situation arises.  I recently saw a video of a gang of crocodiles pulling down a zebra only to have a hippo swim up, take the dead zebra from the crocs and in basically one bite, eat it whole.   The hippo is one of the most dangerous animals in the zoo, and in Africa, hippos are accountable for more human casualties than any other animal.  They are highly territorial and will defend their territory fiercely from any intruder.  If you get bitten by a hippo, even if to them, it’s only a nip to neutralize the threat to their territory, the gigantic size of their teeth makes the bite virtually impossible to survive.  The two hippos at the zoo seemed so peaceful, it was surreal to see them grazing and swimming, and to think they had the inherent potential to be so vicious!

Rhinoceroses

We then saw the rhinos, there were two of them out in the sun.  They were also just grazing peacefully, and as we made our way around the huge enclosure we came to the zebra paddock, where I got this great shot of a zebra chowing down on some grass with the two rhinos in the background:

Zebra and the rhinos

After the zebras, we find the baboons.  There are a ton of them, a couple of big alpha males that are watching over the group, a few smaller beta males roaming about, a few females (that were in full estrus with the bright red, swollen behinds!) and a whole bunch of babies.  The mothers were interesting, walking about, with the babies hanging from their tummies, and when they sat down for whatever reason, they kept one hand on the baby’s tail, as though it were a leash.  It was funny watching the babies trying to run about only to be pulled back by their tails!  We saw one baboon that was sitting with a pile of leaves doing what appeared to be “she loves me, she loves me not…”

Baboon

Then, much to our surprise, one of the males approached a female who was walking with her baby, and hopped on for some crazy baboon love, that lasted for all of 3 seconds.  Talk about a quickie!

Hot baboon-on-baboon(with baby baboon) love!

Also, I might add, that the whole time we were walking around the zoo, we came across many chipmunks on the paths, as well as peacocks.  We didn’t see any peacocks with their tail feathers fanned out, but there were a lot of very brightly colored males sauntering about, causing ‘traffic jams’ while the people had to wait for them to cross the path!

Peacock

Finally, the part I was most excited for… the giraffes!

Giraffe

Giraffe

There were two giraffes out today, both females.  One was lying down eating some grass when we first approached, the other munching on the top leaves of a tree in the shade.  Giraffes are by far my favorite animal at the zoo.  They were so gorgeous!  One started to walk in our direction while chewing her cud, and made this funny face:

This giraffe was making funny faces while she chewed her cud

Then, just as I’m explaining to my date that the giraffe has 7 bones in their neck, (just the same as us, only much, much bigger!), one of the giraffes bends over in the awkward yet funny way to eat some grass.  I took a short video, but I’m having trouble uploading, so I’ll have to post the link later when I fix that –  and you can sort of hear me describe how they also have a special valve that prevents blood from pooling in their heads when they bend over to drink water – this prevents the giraffe from fainting anytime it lowers it’s head.

The Giraffe Princess visits the giraffes at the zoo

The weather was beautiful.  The animals were fantastic.  The day was perfect!  I got to see the giraffes, and even stopped at the gift shop on the way out and got a little plushie giraffe to take home as a souvenir.  (It’s also a female, because there’s no little plushie penis attached to it!)  After walking all day in the sun, though, I was zonked! I slept like a baby last night, and actually, I think I’d like to go take a nap.  I loved the zoo, and very much UNLIKE the science centre, I’m definitely going back, in fact, I can’t wait to!

xox Violet

Do you remember your first kiss?  I do.  Well, I remember *my* first kiss, I doubt that I knew you when you had your first kiss

Do you look back fondly on your first kiss?  Do you remember who it was with?  Where it took place, what you were wearing, who else was around?  I remember my first kiss as though it was yesterday, and regrettably, not because it was a good experience!

My first kiss felt a lot like this!

I was 14, and it was the summer before I was to start high school.  It was probably one of the hottest days of that summer, too.  My best friend and I were walking over to the schoolyard of a neighboring school where a bunch of skater boys would hang out, practice their skateboard tricks, smoke dope, and spray paint on walls.  I was a natural blonde then, and I wore my hair long, and with a center part.  I didn’t wear makeup, and my eyebrows were super-bushy.  I wore a pair of pink denim cut-off shorts and my hyperlite t-shirt (remember those color-changing t-shirts?), that I saved up all summer for, and was so disappointed once I finally got it.  Afterall, at best, it would just outline your hot spots: armpits and boobs!  Anyway, it went in the dryer once, and never changed colors again.  But I digress…

It was so hot that day, and the walk was at least a half an hour long, and we were so sweaty by the time we were approaching the school.  My friend pulled out her compact powder and let me use some to take the shine off my face.  I’m sure now I just looked like a shaggy dog with powder caked onto my sweaty face.  It couldn’t have been pretty!  Anyway, the guy I had a crush on was her ex-boyfriend.  He was a bad-ass, wore a toque in the summer, and was an aspiring graffiti artist.  He tried to be impressive by talking about the kind of music he liked, “a little east coast rap, some west coast rap,” blah blah blah… I had no idea what he was talking about.  Rap music to me was a subject I knew nothing about.  I was still listening to New Kids on the Block! (I thought that Jordan was *so* dreamy!)

There were a group of about 5 or 6 guys that all hung out together at that schoolyard, and my crush was wearing rollerblades that day.  The group of them had just smoked a joint, and were now smoking cigarettes.  Gross!  Anyway, he asked me if I wanted to take a little walk with him, and we went around the corner of the building out of sight of the others.  We had nothing in common, and nothing to talk about.  It was awkward.  He had his back to the wall and I was standing in front of him.  He smiled at me and sort of leaned in, I stood on my tip-toes to reach his mouth and we kissed.  I had no idea what to do, and having seen ‘passionate’ kisses in movies, I thought the idea was to lunge at the other’s mouth and attack their tongue with yours, picking up speed as you go!  In hindsight, I can’t completely blame him for the kiss being awful… I’m sure he didn’t enjoy it either!  His breath was awful, and his mouth tasted like cigarettes and sweat, and his beard stubble scratched my face a little.  When we pulled away, we both had to wipe a significant amount of saliva off our faces.  We both sort of smiled sheepishly and went back to join the rest of the group.

There were no sparks. No fireworks, no bells ringing, no cracks of lightning or little birds singing in my ears.  Just a bad taste in my mouth and a face full of slobber!  Who knew I’d come so far, from that awkward, homely, insecure girl experiencing an uncomfortable mouth-battle with a smelly boy, to where I am today, praised for my sexual prowess?!

Well, guess you gotta start somewhere!

Tell me about your first kiss?

xox Vi

I don’t know about you, but I was raised in a Catholic family and went to Catholic schools (despite deciding for myself at a very young age that religion was *not* for me!) and so I never had a proper sex education in school.  All we were taught was that the deliberate use of the sexual faculty outside of marriage was contrary to its only legitimate purpose [procreation,  and the unification of the husband and wife in the sacrament of marriage].  This included, but was not limited to: masturbation, homosexuality, sodomy, sex before/outside of marriage.  Even contraception is viewed as conflicting with the view of sex as a means for creating life.

I remember the one day in religion class, (during grade 7, I think), where the issue of sexuality was addressed, albeit quite briefly, and how uncomfortable the teacher was, telling us how the practice of self-pleasure is not viewed as honoring the purpose of “God’s gift of sexuality”.  She happened to be separated from her husband, and was virtually certainly committing the “sin” of sex outside of marriage, whether with a boyfriend, or just by herself.  I wondered why the whole topic caused such uniform discomfiture, and surmised that it was because my teachers didn’t believe in, nor practice what they taught.  I bet you’d find more Catholic high school teachers agreeing with, rather than opposing, real sex education, despite the church’s views.  Simply taking into account the number of girls exiled from the school after becoming pregnant proves that despite the school’s and the church’s teachings, students are still having sex.  ”Unprotected” sex, at that, because we were never taught about safer sex, or contraception.  And what an awful thing for an uninformed teenage girl to choose to have sex, or perhaps even be the victim of rape, and then be denied the option of ‘Plan B’ (a.k.a. the morning after pill).  I’m not even going to get into the pro-choice debate here, as I’m sure you can already figure out my opinions on that

Now, that being said, I’d like to share with you some of the things I wish I was taught in school regarding sex, sexual health and sexual hygiene.  These are things that I’ve figured out for myself, through independent research, and my collected experiences both before and since I entered the sex industry.

First of all let’s talk about condoms.  One time I was staying at a girlfriends house overnight, and at the dinner table her father asked me to pass the condiments… having never been taught about condoms, I turned bright red thinking he was asking for condoms at the dinner table!  It’s astounding how little is taught about condoms and their use.  For example, it’s important that you do not keep a latex condom in your wallet just in case, because the friction of your wallet’s opening and closing, as well as your constant body heat from being in your pocket, can break down the latex.  Condoms are ideally stored near room temperature, so it’s best to keep them on the nightstand.  Sure, it’s better to be prepared than not, so if you expect you might have occasion for spontaneous sex, either carry polyurethane condoms (which are far less heat-sensitive) or replace it often!   Keeping a latex condom in your glove box in your car is also a terrible idea…  If you’ve ever gotten into a car that’s been in the summer sun, you’ll know that it can get pretty hot in there.  Even in the winter, your engine generates an enormous amount of heat, so there is a risk of latex degradation if you keep the condoms in your car all the time.  Wear & tear along with the temperature of their storage conditions are factors condom manufacturers take into account when deciding on the expiration date on the condoms, so pay attention to expiration date, and if you must keep a condom in a non-ideal place, replace it often to ensure its integrity.

As far as using a condom goes, there’s a couple of things to keep in mind.  First of all, always pinch the tip of the condom and hold it that way while you roll the rest of the condom down the shaft of the penis.  I’d guess that the most common reason for condom breakage is due to putting it on incorrectly and ending up with an air pocket inside it.  If there is an air bubble in the condom,  the condom can break.  Condoms are essentially penis-shaped balloons.  When you over-inflate a balloon it’s more likely to burst.   There is sufficient room in the reservoir tip of the condom to accommodate the semen (even if you’re Peter North!), but if it’s been subjected to repeated friction while over-stretched from having air in it, the likelihood of rupture is much greater.   Also CRITICAL to consider is that oil breaks down latex.  Most people don’t use oil for lubrication, but it’s not unheard of.  Make sure that if you are using oil, or an oil-based lubricant, with a condom, that you are using a poylurethane condom.  Even the newer polyisoprene condoms are not safe with oil.   Lipstick is largely based with oil, as are most hand & body lotions.  If you are using condoms for blow jobs as well as intercourse, keep in mind that greasy hands or lipstick covered lips can create a risk of condom breakage.

Now lets address something that terrifies a lot of people.  Sexually transmitted diseases.  Condoms will protect you against a lot of ‘em, but even condoms can’t fully protect you from herpes.  Herpes are essentially the very same virus that causes the blisters (‘cold sores’) that some people get on their lips.  If you get cold sores on your mouth from time to time, it’s nothing to be ashamed of, nor does it mean you’re dirty, or have done anything wrong… some people have been getting them since they were young children.  If you do have a cold sore presently, OR you’ve just gotten over one,  you MUST NOT engage in oral sex as the giver, because oral herpes (same virus, remember) can be transmitted to your partner and take on the form of genital herpes.  Approximately 1 out of every 4 people in the United States has herpes, according to the U.S. Center for Disease Control – so if you DO have it, you’re not alone!

Herpes viruses cycle between periods of active infection producing blisters that contain infectious virus particles and that last 2–21 days, followed by a remission period, during which the sores disappear completely.  Genital herpes, however, is often asymptomatic (ie, shows no symptoms!), though viral shedding may still occur.  After initial infection, the viruses move to sensory nerves, where they may just lie dormant for the rest of your life.   What does this mean to you?  Well, someone with an active herpes outbreak is more likely to transmit the infection than someone who is not currently experiencing an outbreak, but this is merely a reduced, rather than eliminated, risk.  If you or your partner is having an outbreak, it’s best to abstain from sex until well after the symptoms have disappeared. Using condoms can reduce the risk of transmission, but again, it is merely reducing the risk, not eliminating it.  From what I’ve heard (as I’ve never had oral or genital herpes – *knock on wood!*), herpes outbreaks are usually incredibly painful and sex is not something that would feel good at the time anyway.

Does this mean because someone can have herpes, be asymptomatic and still transmit the infection, that you should be scared to have sex? No, of course not!  A good measure is to get up immediately after sex (I know, sometimes you just want to cuddle and nap), and give yourself a good wash with soap and water all around your genital area, from basically your bellybutton to your knees.  This way, if any virus particles have shed onto your skin, you can wash them off before they have a chance to take hold.

Okay, moving along.  It should go unsaid that good hygiene habits should be practiced at all times, especially if you’re going to be having sex with someone.  There isn’t much else as un-appetizing as going down on your partner only to experience the unwelcome aroma of unhygienic genitals. For un-circumcised men: for the love of fantastic sex, clean beneath your foreskin regularly!  Pull the skin back and wash it off with soap and water, preferably before you have sex.   Even if you had a shower that morning, by the evening your body has been shedding off skin cells and they get trapped in there and begin to decay.  This is what is often referred to as ‘dick cheese’.  Charming, I know *rolls eyes*  If you can’t pull your foreskin back because it’s too tight, then it might be worth considering having elective circumcision.  If you can’t clean underneath it, how can you expect anyone to want to lovingly gobble your knob?!  If you are uncertain, rub a q-tip under your foreskin and then give it a sniff.  If it smells foul, then you’re not cleaning it properly!

Ladies: this applies to all of you… the skin above your clit, the clit hood, is the female equivalent to a foreskin.  Dead skin cells, bodily fluids, perspiration and all sorts of things can get trapped under there.  The last thing you want is for your lover to go down, pull back your clit hood to get better access to your ‘love button’ and recoil at the olfactory attack an unclean clit-hood can cause!  We’re made of a bunch of flaps and folds down there, so make sure to spread appropriately when washing in the shower.  Just like the guys, do the q-tip test.  If it doesn’t smell good, you gotta wash it again.

Okay guys: when you urinate, do you shake off the last drop of urine before putting away your pecker? Well, I gotta say, that’s not good enough.  Take a piece of toilet tissue and wipe off those last drops because the little bit that squeaks out into your underwear is a most awful thing for a girl to discover when she’s pulling down your pants.  When it gets trapped in the fabric and stagnates with your body heat to exacerbate the smell, nothing good can come of it.  If it’s unavoidable and you’re going to have spontaneous sex, give your cock a little rinse in the sink just to be sure.

Guys and girls alike: everyone poops.  Fecal matter is filled with germs and bacteria – it’s the waste that your body is expelling because it’s simply that: waste.  Always wipe front to back, naturally, and wiping with a little dry toilet paper just isn’t enough.  Pay extra attention to this area in the shower, because your anus is a little pucker of skin folds, and you’d be surprised just how much you miss with a simple wipe.  I’ve had the unfortunate experience of encountering a few men when I was working in the massage parlor, who even after taking a shower immediately before their massage (as was required!), I’d start massaging up their legs, and as they’d spread their legs a little in relaxation, or to give me access to their cock, the smell that would escape was horrendous.  Thankfully this didn’t happen often, but it did happen, and honestly, once is already too many times!   Thankfully I’m comfortable enough to tell a guy to go wash again if anything is unsatisfactory down there.

And on that note, I will cap off this blog entry.  I’m sure I could go on for hours about helpful tips and advice on how to best shave your genitals, and the healthy way to douche, but to be honest with you – I have to get into the shower, because I’m about to have sex

Cheers!

Violet xox

School is out and summer is here, and for a lot of people that means more time to read a (hopefully) good book!  I don’t read as often as I’d like because when I start reading a compelling book it engrosses me, and I just can’t put it down until it’s finished, to the point of neglecting sometimes more important things.  If you have time to spare and are looking for a book to read, here is a little bit about a few that I’ve read over the last couple of years.

Congo by Michael Crichton

A science-fiction/adventure novel, originally published in 1980.

Deep in the Congo, near the legendary ruins of the Lost City of Zinj, an  eight-person field expedition dies mysteriously and brutally in a matter of minutes.

Ten thousand miles away, at the Houston-based Earth Resources Technology Services, Inc., Karen Ross watches a gruesome video transmission of that ill-fated team: a camp destroyed, tents crushed and torn, equipment scattered in the mud alongside bodies – and the grainy, moving image of a dark, blurred shape.

In San Francisco, primatologist Peter Elliot works with Amy, an extraordinary gorilla with a 620 “sign” vocabulary and a fondness for finger painting.  Her recent drawing matches, with stunning accuracy, the frayed, brittle pages of a Portuguese print dating back to 1642… a drawing of the ancient lost city.  Immediately, a new expedition is sent into the Congo, descending into a secret world where the only way out may be through the grisliest death…

Like many of Crichton’s novels, Congo was also made into a motion picture (1995), and unlike most avid readers, I saw the movie long before I read the book.  I actually read the book fairly recently, 2 years ago, whereas I saw the movie when it was in the theaters.  15 years is a long time for one’s tastes to grow and change, and while I enjoyed the movie (with the exception of the ending), and I have enjoyed Michael Crichton’s work in the past, I thought Congo would be a fun read.  I was interested to see how it compared to the movie.

The book starts out with a very descriptive action sequence and the demise of the first expedition team in this story.  The excitement and mystery surrounding their deaths captured my attention and immediately drew me in because I just had to find out what happened and what came next.  It was a relaxing read, in that any technology, real or fictitious, was described in a way that anyone could understand it, whether you had previous knowledge in that area or not.  I sped through this book in a couple of days, unable to put it down, and enjoyed it very much.  I could see how closely translated the movie was from the book, with very little changes, including the terrible ending.

If you haven’t read the book or seen the movie I wont spoil it for you, nor would I discourage you from reading this book, but I wont hide my disappointment with the ending.  With such a brilliantly creative mind, I figured Crichton could have come up with a better ending than he did.  The story was believable and reality was easily suspended up until the ending.  The clever imaginativeness seemed to transform into absurdity… but if you’re just looking for a lightweight entertaining story, give it a read.  It was definitely entertaining.

The Andromeda Strain by Michael Crichton

A techno-thriller, originally published in 1969.

The United States government is given a warning by the pre-eminent biophysicists in the country: current sterilization procedures applied to returning space probes may be inadequate to guarantee uncontaminated re-entry to the atmosphere.

Two years later, seventeen satellites are sent into the outer fringes of space to “collect organisms and dust for study.”  One of them falls to earth, landing in a desolate area of Arizona.

Twelve miles from the landing site, in the town of Peidmont, a shocking discovery is made: the streets are littered with the dead bodies of the twon’s inhabitants, as if they dropped dead in their tracks.

The terror has begun…

The Andromeda Strain was also made into a motion picture (1971).  Unlike the disappointing ending in Congo, The Andromeda Strain was consistently exceptional from start to finish.  Also an easy read with scientific and technological concepts (both real and fictitious) explained in a way that they were both understandable and believable.

In this story we follow a team of scientists who are in an extremely secret, and extremely secure underground lab while they try to solve the mystery surrounding the death of nearly the entire town of Piedmont.  You might hear this and think, “how exciting can a bunch of scientists working in a lab be?” but I assure you, I was captivated from beginning to end.  The film was extremely well done, and stuck very close to the novel, with the one exception I can think of: they changed the gender of one of the scientists so that they could include a woman in the otherwise all-male team.  I highly recommend both the book and the film, in fact, just writing about it makes me want to watch the film again soon!

Ender’s Game by Orson Scott Card

A Science-Fiction novel, originally published in 1985.

Intense is the word for Ender’s Game.  Aliens have attacked earth twice and almost destroyed the human species.  To make sure humans win the next encounter, the world government has taken to breeding military geniuses – and then training them in the arts of war… The early training, not surprisingly, takes the form of ‘games.’

Ender Wiggin is a genius among geniuses; he wins all the games… He is smart enough to know that time is running out.  But is he smart enough to save the planet?

Ender’s Game, while an easy read, with a story line that seemingly appeals to younger readers is actually a magnificent novel that addresses quite mature themes including war, politics, and psychology and philosophy.  Someone once asked me, if I were stranded on a desert island and could choose to have my 5 favorite books with me, which ones would I choose… and Ender’s Game is the first book that came to mind when considering such a list.

This book was so good I recommend it to nearly everyone, in fact, I recently bought a copy of it for my mother (who also enjoyed it tremendously!).  A creative and mesmerizing story with a twist ending, that really gets you thinking.  As the story progresses, you’ll find yourself experiencing a wide range of emotions, from feeling sorry for young Ender, to sympathize, to feel support and hope for him & his future… it’s a non-stop ride that you must take.

There has been talk of making it into a motion picture, but I think it would be a very tough thing to accomplish, without degrading the magnificence of the novel.  Orson Scott Card released the latest of his author-written screenplay adaptations to Warner Brothers in May 2003.  David Benioff and D.B. Weiss were later signed to write a new script, working closely with director Wolfgang Petersen. Card later announced that he would be writing a new script not based on any previous one, including his own. Following the departure of Petersen from the project and Card’s self-described refusal to “condescend to green-screen Hollywood,” Card announced in February 2009 that he had completed a script for Odd Lot Entertainment, and that they had begun assembling a production team.  Any other news regarding Ender’s Game becoming a film has been few & far between.