I’ve been asked many questions about the “seduction community,” as well as my involvement with The Worthy Playboy(tm) Institute. I’ve also been directed to MANY different web pages and blogs that all claim to offer the ultimate authority in dating & seduction techniques/skills/advice, etc., yet they all contradict with each other! It’s easy to see how so many guys are confused and misled along their journey to self-discovery and improvement. How on earth are women supposed to be attracted and interested in these guys who are constantly being told that they are incomplete by a lot of these community leaders, who, deep down, are also quite incomplete. They may not admit it, or they may be so far down the rabbit hole that they don’t even know it, but it’s true.
It’s an interesting concept: incomplete. Deficient, flawed, imperfect, inadequate, insufficient, lacking, unfinished…not good enough. Between our family, our friends, our peers, the government, and the media, among others, we’re constantly being told that we are not good enough as human beings. We’re told we need to be thinner, fitter, healthier, smarter, funnier, and better looking in order to be happy. To top it off, even if we have achieved these things, unless we have successfully found a boyfriend/girlfriend to ‘complete’ ourselves, we are failing. What’s EVEN WORSE is that we’re taught to doubt happiness. We may have reached our goal weight, changed our diet, went to school, whatever, but it’s never good enough. It’s fleeting. That awesome new wardrobe you’ve been waiting to buy after you lost the weight makes you feel great…for a while. But after a week, 2 weeks, a month, it loses it’s novelty. What a sad state it is when you are constantly being beaten down by yourself under the influence of society. Well listen up, I have something important to tell you.
Happiness IS NOT a novelty!
Happiness is not a goal, it’s not a result and it’s not a destination. Tell me something, if happiness is a goal, something you’re trying to achieve, to reach, how will you know when you get there? What will it feel like? Now, what comes next? If you’ve spent all this time & energy trying to reach happiness, what comes after? Do you stop doing those things you were doing in order to be happy? After all, you were doing them to find happiness, so now that you’ve found it, you will just be perpetually happy from now on? I don’t think so! If you’ve been submitting to these abjective influences, thinking that all this unhappiness and pain will be worth it once you reach the end – once you reach happiness – that it will be all worth it, then you are suffering unnecessarily. Happiness as a reward is fleeting, however, happiness as a CHOICE is incorruptible.
Yes, happiness is truly and completely a choice. You know those people that go through life miserable for no reason at all? The black cloud hovers above their head all the time, and no matter what good fortune comes their way, they always have something negative to say about it, or some way of dismissing it? You can clearly see they are choosing their misery, but no matter how much you tell them, they just wont accept it. Well, if they can choose to be miserable, why can’t you just choose to be happy?
You can!
That’s the beauty of elective happiness. It’s unbreakable. No, I’m not suggesting that you go into a euphoric coma, impervious to bad things and situations that may arise, but recognize that just because a situation may cause you to feel bad, to feel angry or frustrated, it is not a permanent state of being. When you choose happiness as your default mode of existence, no one can MAKE you feel unhappy. Sure, people can do things that make it harder for you to choose happiness, but no one holds the reigns of your emotions but you. Likewise, no one can MAKE you happy. They can do their best to encourage you to feel happy & help remove some obstacles that are preventing you from feeling happy, but again, it is your choice.
Now, coming back to the seduction community. So often I see guys that are being taught that they are not good enough. They’re taught that being a computer programmer isn’t good enough, that having stamp collecting as a hobby isn’t appropriate, that wearing glasses is a hindrance, that no girl will like them as they are, and they must change. Then, on the other side of things, you have girls who are constantly saying how they want guys to ‘just be yourself!’ See the problem here? She wants you to be yourself, but you, as yourself isn’t good enough? WTF? Okay, so the guys go and learn how to recite jokes, start participating in activities they don’t enjoy so that they can impress girls with the things they’re ‘interested’ in, and they start pretending (and sometimes sincerely trying to become) these things that they are not. Well, the girls see through that and if they don’t right away, they find out soon enough, and no only have you failed the girl after presenting this false image, but you’ve failed yourself.
Most of these ‘pick up’ and dating companies teach you to find out what the girl wants, what the girl likes, what the girl is interested in & attracted to, so you know what to change about yourself to ‘catch’ her. I much prefer the few companies (like The Worthy Playboy(tm) Institute, for example) that teach you to find out who *YOU* are, and what *YOU* want. The world is not high school prom with the girls on one side and the guys on the other.
The purpose to living is to enjoy life! If you aren’t happy, nor are you working towards finding your happiness, then you’ve missed the point of life.
BE happy =)
Tags: community, dating, happiness, Pick up, seduction, worthy playboy institute
February 2nd, 2010 at 12:27 pm
[...] I would also like to direct you to an entry my friend Violet Marcell wrote in her blog on the subject of happiness yesterday. It’s an awesome post, and I agree with every word of it! Read it here! [...]