Wow, I haven’t written here since Valentine’s day!  Shame on me for slacking off.  How about I just give you guys some updates on my life and some of the things I do?  Maybe it will be boring to you, or maybe you’ll be fascinated with a little more knowledge about who I really am.  For instance, did you know that I know how to knit?  Oh yes, I’ve knit lovely scarves for xmas presents, but it takes dedication!  I am not very fast at it, nor do I have a lot of time to sit and knit, so it takes me about a month to knit a full length wearable scarf.  I am also quite good at needlepoint.  I am known for making fantastic ’spankerchiefs’.  What is a spankerchief, you might ask?  Well, it’s a little towel to keep by the bed when you are having one of those intimate moments with yourself (wink, wink, nudge, nudge), so that not only do you avoid having to get up and go wash yourself off – which sucks when you’re sleepy having just ejaculated – but you don’t have to use that old crusty sock anymore!  (ew, icky visual, sorry!)  I have emblazoned the spankerchief with words, phrases, designs, etc.  Particularly, depending on who I’m making it for, I’ll put the name of their penis, if it has one!  Haven’t you always wanted a little towel to display on the handle of your bed-side table with ‘THE IMPALER’ written on it?!

I’ve been going through my condo in Toronto, sort of ’spring cleaning’ and finding all sorts of fun things that I forgot I had, or triggering memories that are quite amusing to recall.  I found my clarinet, which I’ve been meaning to take to a music shop to be cleaned and serviced so I can begin playing again.  I used to be quite good, in fact, I decided against playing in the symphony because it just didn’t suit my lifestyle.  I haven’t picked up my clarinet in over 5 years, and I miss it.  It was always very calming and centering for me to play, and I miss it.  I always wonder if my breath control acquired from years and years of playing the clarinet attributed to my ease with deepthroating?  ;-)

Taking the books off my bookshelves and doing a thorough dusting, I’ve noticed that all of my literature consists of 20% educational books, (self improvement, mostly in the sexual arena), 5% textbooks, 30% science fiction, and the rest pornographic comics and magazines!!! What can I say, a filthy mind is a terrible thing to waste  Despite my best intentions, I’ve begun keeping diaries many times and got lazy after the first 20 entries or so, and consequently, I have 6 or 7 journals with only a few pages used up in them.  It’s fun to read the entries though, especially from when I was 15-16 and in my alcohol, drugs and sexploration curiosity mode.  Sadly the only sex I was getting was with myself because I was such an introvert.  Hard to believe, huh?  I was that nerdy girl with the glasses and braces who got good grades in school, went to band camp and watched a lot of star trek.  My friendships were all superficial, and I always laugh when I think about those talk shows about ‘look at me now’… I wonder if they’d even recognize me, I’ve changed so much.

I found my tribble, it was under the bed.  It was next to my rolling pin and yes, that’s where I keep it.  Don’t worry though, I’ve been known to experiment with kinky sex from time to time, but that’s a bit too extreme for me.  It’s actually great for massage.  I love being massaged and giving massages, but have only been for a professional massage once, and it was only 2 weeks ago! (It was divine, by the way, and I can’t wait to go back.  (thank you so much Nick for treating me to that spa day xox)

Finally I’ll end with things that are currently within my reach as I sit here typing on my laptop in bed.  First is one of my cats, Bosley, who’s passed out next to me, belly up (so cute!), next is my iPhone, then my winachi vibrator, Pinky 2 (Pinky 1 was unceremoniously retired when I burned it out from overuse!), some body lotion, a nail file, my plastic surgeon’s business card with the cost outline for my upcoming breast augmentation (motivation!) a half-eaten square of extra dark chocolate, which I would, and I quote Kaden Kross, “give my left ovary for” it’s so amazingly yummy, 3 balls of pink fuzzy yarn and my knitting needles, a hair clip (conveniently on hand for keeping my hair out of my mouth when giving head) about 10 tubes of different kinds of lip balm (another important aspect to giving great blow jobs – soft lips!) , condoms (naturally) and a gold sequined head band with a gold colored asp on it, cleopatra style.  Don’t ask why I have that handy, because you wouldn’t want to know, hee hee!

Alright, It’s 4 in the morning, I have to get some sleep.  If this was an un-interesting blog, then I apologize for your having to endure it, if you’ve made it this far.  If you enjoyed my little tidbits (too easy to insert a joke here), then I’m glad I could entertain you.  I have a few interesting articles to write here, but honestly, I’m just too tired to put much thought into writing right now, so that’s why I chose to write fluff instead.  Stay Classy, San Diego!

xo Violet

p.s. to thank you for your patience in my lack of writing for almost 2 weeks, and then writing something just silly, please enjoy this picture of me playing on my stripper pole in my bedroom:

Tags: blow job, kayden kross, knitting, masturbation, pole dancing, spankerchief

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