I’ve mentioned a few times in different places online about how I used to be a nerd with glasses and braces and no friends etc.  I get a lot of people saying they can’t possibly imagine that was true.  Well, I was as nerdy as it got.  I was thankful that at least I didn’t have to worry about being made fun of for wearing nerdy clothes because it was a catholic school with uniforms.  I usually wore sweaters my grandmother would knit me with kitties on it with a pair of jogging pants.  I didn’t even own a pair of jeans until my 13th birthday.  (and I still hated wearing them, they were so uncomfortable the way they bunch around your knees when you sit! – thank god for jeans with lycra added to them nowadays: they’re stretchy and fit perfectly and very comfy!)

Okay, so now that I’ve lured you all here with a gratuitous topless shot, lets talk about tits!  I have not hidden the fact that I have wanted breast augmentation for many years now.  10 years, in fact!  I have spent some considerable time thinking about the decision, (obviously as it has taken me 10 years!), and I’m ready to do it now.  I’m sure that some of you are looking at the above picture and thinking, “WTF? her tits are perfect!”   Some of you may be thinking that only girls with low self-esteem & self-confidence get breast implants because they don’t accept themselves, and I assure you that this is definitely not the case with me!

I won’t lie, back when I was 16 and sneaking into strip clubs to watch the naked women on the poles, (and most of them had big fake tits!) I thought they were so beautiful, and that it must be so cool to be able to do something like that and have all that attention… to be wanted.  You see, I was most definitely an outcast, with low self-esteem and I spent most of my free time with Jean-Luc Picard and his crew (watching star trek!) rather than socializing.  I had such different ideals than what was being taught in school as far as sexuality goes.  We were taught that masturbation is wrong, that you must remain abstinent until marriage, and then only have sex for procreation.  WTF?! I was so curious about sex, and I had a very high sex drive, albeit expressing it with myself only thus far.  When I told a girlfriend when I was 14 that I had a serious crush on a boy and I was thinking of giving my virginity to him she totally freaked out on me.  I got chewed out for being a slut and throwing my life away, etc.  It was from that moment that I knew I had to keep to myself because I was different.  I was weird.  I guess that’s part of why I idolized these strippers, because they were already naked and swinging on a pole in front of a few hundred people at times, they weren’t exactly worried about what the people were going to think about their decisions.

Well, as time went on and I grew out of my shell, in fact I really didn’t feel like I could truly just be myself until I was 20-21.  I would say it took me a good 4-5 years to really lose the last layers of skin I’d built up to protect myself from ‘them‘ and that was when I was ready to start making porn.  I can only imagine what this lifestyle would do to a girl who wasn’t comfortable with herself and had a low self-esteem.  I guess that’s why a lot of people turn to drugs and alcohol, to escape their lives.  Anyway, I’m not here to judge, they are free to make their own decisions.  But I am finally at a place where I *KNOW* I’m comfortable with myself, I LOVE myself, and my self-esteem and self-confidence are both appropriately high.  I’m independent and self-satisfied, and now I’m ready to go through with the augmentation as a treat for me.

The picture above was taken nearly a year ago.  I was pretty thin then, and I’m even thinner now.  Don’t think for a moment I’m trying to lose weight, because I’m not, in any way!  In fact, I’m trying to gain weight, and get my gorgeous round booty back.  You see, when you lose weight, and your body fat is absorbed, the first things to go are tits and ass.  My tits now, have gotten pretty small.  They’re still pretty great for natural tits, they don’t sag and they are still perky, but they are too small for me to fill out a halter top, or wear pretty boustiers, among other things.  I used to have full C cup breasts, and now I’m a small B, maybe even less!  It’s not that I feel incomplete, it’s that I love the shape my body has taken with exercising, building muscle and as well the amazing effects it has on my energy levels, and my mood.  I would, however, like to feel the womanly curves of my breasts again, to have my hourglass figure back, and hell – I want a nice set of tits to play with!

So I’m doing this exclusively for me.  I’m not doing it as a career move, I’m not doing it to appease any personal playmate or for the attention, or to boost my self-esteem.  I’m doing it purely because I want to, I’ve waited 10 years to make sure I’m of sound mind and body, and dammit, I deserve to enjoy the rewards of my best efforts!

So with that, I’m visiting my plastic surgeon on this upcoming Monday to discuss a few more specifics. (This isn’t my first meeting with him, and he was not the only surgeon I researched and interviewed before making the choice).  I’m not going to go too big and turn into a freakish anime-like character (as fun as that would be for a day or two!), but a more ‘normal’ size, that will look more natural to those who don’t know they aren’t.  My goal is to have the surgery by the end of March, so I’m busting my ass now to make sure everything is in place, and I can take as much time to recover as is necessary.  If I’m doing this at all, I’m doing it right, and not taking any chances.  I’m going to have to massage them every day to keep them looking and feeling great (& to prevent scar tissue from forming) so I may end up needing someone to come rub lotion on my boobies from time to time… but I’m sure finding volunteers won’t be too difficult

xo Violet

Tags: braces, Breast Augmentation, fake tits, glasses, nerd, pole dancing, self-esteem, star trek, strippers, tits

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 24th, 2010 at 1:08 am and is filed under Breast Augmentation. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.