Violet's Private Life

The personal blog of Porn Star Violet Marcell!

Regarding “Paying for Sex” – Critical Reframes

Posted by admin On July - 12 - 2010

I’ve spoken before about my involvement with the Worthy Playboy Institute, specifically the annual workshop they run in Las Vegas every January during the porn convention.  What I’d like to share with you now is a short article written by Johnny Soporno, the creator of the WPI, regarding sex professionals and paying for sex, as well as a different view of these than is perpetuated by ‘traditional society.’

So give it a read through, and leave a comment – I’d love to hear your thoughts and ideas on this particular subject, if you’re comfortable sharing.

xox Violet


“I don’t pay prostitutes to sleep with me, I pay them to leave when I’m done!” – Cary Grant

Throughout most of the ‘Free World’ (excluding the US, of course ) prostitution is legal. In Canada, virtually everywhere in Europe, and Australia, prostitution is common and accepted.

A prostitute is a professional – like a doctor, or a massage-therapist, or a hairstylist, or lawyer… A professional is a person who charges for their services, offering essentially the same service to any number of clients, (both ‘one-offs’ and ‘regulars’), in which their client believes the costs are appropriate for the services rendered. Furthermore, the more experienced the Professional, the more competent and skilful they usually become.

I wouldn’t want to get my hair cut by someone who hadn’t cut countless heads of hair before me; I’d never let a dentist drill a tooth if I weren’t certain he’s done it countlessly before!

A prostitute does a specific kind of work, usually quite well, and provides satisfaction – with the expectation (as is true with all professionals) that once their work is done, the client will leave satisfied, and will return if their need requires it, and ideally they will advise others of the professionalism and quality provided.

It’s critical to remember that virtually all women are raised to charge for their sexual services – when their mothers tell them “If you give away the milk, no one will buy the cow!” she’s telling her daughters “Don’t you forget, I raised you to be a whore, not a slut!”
Likewise, when their fathers tell them “I don’t want you spending time with that Kevin boy – he just wants to get into your pants! Why don’t you go connect with Thomas, over there… He has his own business, and he’ll be a good provider and father for your children, and he’ll take care of you! (Because don’t ever forget, we raised you to be a whore!)”

Women are raised never to undercut The Sexual Cartel – an unspoken understanding amongst all women to ensure that men will support them and their offspring by convincing men that sex can only be available at a cost – and that the dearer the cost, the more valuable the sex.

This is to convince men that their children are their own, genetically.

“Son, I know you’re my child, (despite the fact that we don’t look anything alike) because your mother was a “good girl” – She didn’t sleep with me until our fourth date! And hell, she doesn’t even like sex, we practically never had it once we got married!”

Women who have sex because they want to, with whomever they choose, without the promise of a ‘commitment’, (or any other direct or promised compensation) are condemn socially and branded as “sluts” – the most derogatory word any woman can be called, particularly by another woman… When a man calls a woman a slut, he is saying “She’s having more sex than _I_ want her to!”, but when a woman calls another woman a slut, it means “She’s a traitor to her gender! She’s giving away what I must sell, and lowering my value! – She’s a scab! She’s undercutting The Cartel!”

SO – if you like sex-for-the-sake-of-sex more than you like money, go ahead and hire someone on an ‘on demand’ basis… Instead of hiring one full time, when you only actually need the service occasionally!

I’ve often heard “If it floats, flies, or fucks, rent it, don’t own it!”

~Johnny Soporno
Worthy Playboy & Sexual Revolutionary

11 Responses so far.

  1. Rochedo says:


    THERE IS truth there. It just that i would not use the word whore to describe it. I’m not a woman but i have no respect for sluts. I respect prostitutes and wives, but i can’t respect someone that can get pregnant or sick (like sluts usually get because they don’t take care of thenselves) having sex and taking nothing in return (money or a “relationship”).

  2. @Rochedo -
    Here you assign the term ‘slut’ exclusively to STUPID women; women who don’t take steps to ensure they neither become sick nor pregnant.

    The vast majority of women who have sex entirely to suit themselves (as opposed to because they have been promised something of value in exchange) are VERY unlikely to contract anything, because they DO carry condoms – as opposed to most women in committed relationships (married/long-term girlfriends) who tend NOT to carry them…

    When a woman is ovulating, their sex-drive is fantastically greater than usual, particularly for UNFAMILIAR guys – So they have spur-of-the-moment sex with a random stranger, there is actually a very high likelihood of her becoming pregnant if she doesn’t have condoms on hand. Of course, this carries over to STD transmission as well.

    To NOT have respect for a woman who makes her own choices, leads her own life to suit herself, and engages in and enjoys sex with people SHE CHOOSES, safely and responsibly, seems ludicrous to me!

  3. Rochedo says:


    That’s not my experience at all with women at least under 30. Women over 30 do take more care but being serious i have seen to many “mistakes” to respect sluts.

  4. @Philip I couldn’t have said it better myself!

    @Rochedo Lemme see if I understand you?

    Any woman under 30 who doesn’t demand ‘payment’ for sex (whether directly, in the form of money, “gifts”, meals, drugs, or indirectly, through the spoken or implied promise of long-term support) deserves no respect?

  5. Mat D says:

    I just hate it when hot girls have sex with disgusting or really ugly men.

    I mean, can you really have sex with a fat old pig (not a literal pig animal) and enjoy it?? Now, Keni Styles, Rocco, Michael Lucas.. they’re hot and all seem pretty healthy.. Especially Michael!

  6. Mat D says:

    You MUST watch this:

    “Negotiated infidelity”

    My only rule is: no sex with ugly guys. ;)

  7. William says:


    I don’t see how you equate slut with being stupid in the example given, and I don’t agree that they are. I love sluts! They only want sex, and apparently feel they get all the benefit they need simply from the act. In the example given, the “slut” is a person who has sex purely because they want to, while a “whore” is a person who trades something more for sex.

    I know there are times when women aren’t as careful as they should be, often when under the influence of some powerful hormones. It’s then guys should man-up and be responsible when it comes to practicing safe sex. This is easily possible if you always practice safe sex, and never let anyone talk you out of it.

  8. Fred says:

    @rochedo What about all the *guys* who agree or demand not to use condoms – do you lose respect for them as well?

  9. Violet says:

    William: Phillip was replying to rochedo’s comment about sluts being stupid women – if you re-read Phillip’s comment you’ll recognize he does not agree with that mentality either :-)

  10. DJ Fuji says:

    lol @ conversation between Johnny and Phil.

    In regard to the ‘anti-slut/anti-prostitution’ mentality, I don’t think it’s a coincidence that America also traces its origins to puritanism.

  11. William says:

    Violet: Still doesn’t seem clear to me, but I’ll take your word for it. :)

    Fred: Gotta have it to lose it. I am the only person I can change, but I care about those I have sex with. I will not put any of them at risk for a slight loss of sensitivity. If condoms are the only way I can protect those I care about from harm then I will continue to use them. I believe the respect I engender because of my attitude will show my partners that I respect them, and in so doing, encourage them to continue playing with me. ;)

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